Morgan Stogsdill has become an expert not only in divorce law, but in shifting the stereotypical divorce narrative. Rather than continuing the old way of divorce, which can destroy families, she works to redefine the family. Success to her is creating a place where families celebrate future milestones together, post-divorce.
With the holidays come and gone, Stogsdill often sees an uptick of individuals seeking further information about potential divorce options around this time. After putting on a happy face throughout the holiday season, holding back tears, and dealing with in-laws, Stogsdill wants everyone to know: you’re not alone.
You got through the holidays, now what? Stogsdill first recommends giving yourself some time for you and your family to get back to your usual schedule. She also suggests seeking out a therapist or a marriage counselor. Therapy can help you understand and pinpoint why you feel what you’re feeling, and it often helps people validate those feelings and concerns. Once you identify the why, you can learn different tools to use to help you face the challenges you may be experiencing. If the challenge is your marriage, these tools can be used to help heal and fix the issues present.
“Nobody should make a rash decision when it comes to their marriage and their children,” says Stogsdill. “I would never want someone to have regrets or feel like they didn’t do everything they could to make it work.”
Stogsdill also emphasizes the importance of information-seeking and gathering and that is why she saw a need to start the podcast. “People want information but may not be ready to visit a lawyer. It’s important for them to have the right information and to see two points of view from a different lens, a lawyer and a divorcee,” says Stogsdill.
Stogsdill’s new podcast, How Not to Suck at Divorce, is an excellent way to obtain important information quietly. How Not to Suck at Divorce is already in the top three most popular in divorce podcasts. Stogsdill hosts alongside Andrea Rappaport, a former comedian who recently went through the divorce process herself (Note: Stogsdill did not represent Rappaport’s divorce), giving you both the legal advice and personal experience of the divorce process. Equal parts entertaining and informational, Stogsdill and Rappaport are committed to breaking down divorce in an approachable and honest way.
In their episode, “BIFF,” Stogsdill walks listeners through maintaining civil conversations using the BIFF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm) to neutralize charged conversations while keeping open communication channels as well as how to handle harassment. Stogsdill offers legal-minded advice, like responding as if a judge were reading your messages and how your attorney can help you define and temper the harassment that may be happening. Rappaport then speaks on how she could have benefited from using BIFF and taking a step back before sending a reply, and her experience using court-accessible apps that monitor potentially harassing comments and information being sent between the two parties.
The podcast is a great way for individuals who are not yet outwardly seeking information to obtain information on the divorce process without having to disrupt your everyday life and routine. Stogsdill and Rappaport give proven and practical advice, while somehow making even difficult topics, like how to handle when communication starts to spiral, seem lighter and conquerable.
If you do decide to pursue divorce, Stogsdill notes how important it is to communicate your goals to your attorney. She recommends writing out a list of everything that is most important to you and your priorities so that while working on your case, your attorneys can make sure their actions are in-line with your priorities and concerns.
Morgan Stogsdill is a partner at Beermann LLP, located at 161 N. Clark Street, Suite 3000 in Chicago. Find her on Instagram @divorceattorneychicago. How Not to Suck at Divorce is available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.