LIFE’S GREATEST IRONY is that when we are young, arrogant, and know everything, we don’t bother asking hoary, existential questions. This is probably because we are preoccupied with chasing dreams, gulping our way through bottomless mimosa brunches, and falling in love with the wrong people. By the time we actually get to an age where we know a thing or two, we realize we don’t know much at all. We’re still the same shrimp-shaped girl we’ve always been. Only now we have no idea where we put our glasses.
At our age, we’ve been through it. We’ve mended broken hearts. We’ve grieved losses. We’ve been blindsided by fate and amassed enough parking tickets to know nothing about life makes much sense. If it hasn’t already swallowed us whole, cynicism is quite possibly nipping at our ankles. Our Dewy Ideals Of Youth were tossed out years ago to make room for air fryers and smoothie makers. Perhaps you are one of the lucky few who arrived at the doorstep of 2022 unscathed by life and circumstances. If this is the case, you should most certainly light a fire, pour yourself an adult beverage, and bask in the glow of your brilliance. Leave the rest of us to hatch a plan for the new year.
I’m not a fan of resolutions; too many people hit the skids by February. I much prefer adopting a loose philosophy on life. The Buddhists know a thing or two about life. So does Plato. Bob Dylan works for me. Keep in mind you can read all the books, do all the yoga, think all the right thoughts and, even if you are very clever, you still may find you haven’t a clue about life. That’s okay. We are all fumbling through.
What little I know about life is this: vulnerability, fragility, and fear are human conditions, not flaws. Feel free to admit you suffer from being human. No one will think less of you, no one will shriek in terror. In fact, most people will sigh with relief. Why waste life pretending to be perfect and impenetrable?
Life isn’t a competition, though it feels like that somehow, especially in our bubble. I’ve been coaching young people and adults for well over a decade. People honor me with sneak peeks into their souls. Trust me when I say the whole lot of us, even the picture perfect types, are exhausted from competing and trying to keep up. Life isn’t about outdoing other people or competing for imaginary titles like ‘Skinniest’, or ‘Most Social Media Worthy Lifestyle’. The happiest among us compete only with themselves.
Honor the small things. You may not have won the Nobel Peace Prize, ended world hunger, or discovered a self-sealing cereal bag, but you can go for a walk with a friend who is approaching rock bottom at break neck speed. You can respond with kindness even when every fiber of your being wants to rage. You can listen. Don’t dismiss these simple powers. It is no small thing to make another human feel heard, valued, and supported.
You won’t please everyone. For the serial pleasers among us, those who depend on feedback for proof of their worthiness, it is hard to fathom the feeling of freedom that comes from detaching from criticism and praise. Unhook from criticism and praise and you’ll find it much easier to be comfortable in your own skin.
Lastly, to quote Bob Dylan, ‘Be groovy or leave.’ Personal boundaries are wildly healthy. Stop tolerating so darn much. Tolerating is a soul suck.
Wishing you a happy, healthy 2022!
To be in touch, check out T-Ann’s websites: t-annpierce.com and theconfidencetriangle.com. She’s on Insta @tannpiercecoaching and @the.confidence.triangle. Or stop by her office at Flotstone in Lake Bluff. She’ll make you a cup of tea.
For more information check out T-Ann’s websites: t-annpierce.com and theconfidencetriangle.com. She’s on Insta @tannpiercecoaching and @the.confidence.triangle. Or stop by her office at Flotstone in Lake Bluff. Pumpkin pie is always welcome.